


enjolras reads les misérables and thinks it's trashy

by orphan_account



Category: Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Butt Jokes, Crack, Ficlet, Gen, Kink Meme, Oh No He's Hot, inappropriate language regarding flower buds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-23
Updated: 2013-05-23
Packaged: 2017-12-12 19:13:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/815034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From this prompt on the meme: "In Barricade Heaven, Enjolras happens to read Les Misérables. He is incensed and outraged by the number of words Victor Hugo wastes describing his beauty, when he could have been writing about important things, like the rights of man and revolution and whatnot."</p>
            </blockquote>





	enjolras reads les misérables and thinks it's trashy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Carmarthen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmarthen/gifts).



“The first thing he says about me is that I’m charming? I’m angelically handsome? What does that have to do with anything important — what about my politics? Ah, here we are — ‘traversed the revolutionary apocalypse.’ _Pardieu!_ Am I supposed to be admired or feared? Clearly, I ought to be admired for my looks but my Republican ideals are not worth mentioning. What exactly is a ‘priest of the ideal’? How would he vote? ‘A great deal of brow in a face is like a great deal of horizon in a view’? Now he brings phrenology into this? Is Voisin going to analyse my skull for its revolutionary pathologies? ‘Those long golden lashes, those blue eyes, that hair billowing in the wind, those rosy cheeks, those fresh lips, those exquisite teeth’ — I feel as if this man is creeping into my bedroom. Is this how I move the people? I flash my eyes and teeth, but chastely, because I am a virgin, which Hugo repeats oh, several times, lest anyone forget how I spend my days. But how do I spend my days? I am contemplative, but he does not even bother to mention which college I attend, only where my friends like to drink. My God, has this man ever seen a paragraph before? I think I’ve spoken for three pages straight and there hasn’t yet been a break for air. Are none of my friends worried that I am muttering to myself on the barricade, while my hair flies in the wind and the universe spins around me in sublimity? Hugo must have been paid by the word, to go on at such length about the ridiculous! Rosy, rosy, rosy Hugo calls me — no wonder a guard mistakes me for a flower. Prouvaire, stop laughing and making comparisons to the _Roman de la Rose_ , I am being serious and you keep talking about my rosebud, which is not for you to discuss.”

**Author's Note:**

> Only two little notes for this one. 
> 
> 1\. Félix Voisin was a big supporter of the pseudo-science of phrenology and ran a hospital for the mentally disabled from 1822 to 1865. Voisin thought that mental pathologies could be explained through phrenology. Hugo’s description of Enjolras's broad brow and deep-set eyes are a bit of a phrenological tick and a bit similar to how Arthur Conan Doyle describes Sherlock Holmes.
> 
> 2\. _Roman de la Rose_ is a 13th century text that’s highly misogynist and ‘rose’ basically stands in for women’s sexuality.


End file.
